The Beginning

It wasn’t pretty. The entire process took me three months, countless hours of scrubbing through each scene - asking if it fit? The story? The character? Over and over and over.

It began with an idea, of control, of an AI entity implanted into a man’s head. A former lover. One whom he thought to be dead, but was very much alive. This slowly built out into the early concepts of Vaelor. It became sterile and pristine very quickly, I always intended to have a hyper controlled environment. I think in that, we are human - so to have someone pick out our clothes and feed us… Sometimes that feels like a dream, no? Just me?

I started to write the beginning scenes of Lucian working in the Tower of Industry, and it just wasn’t working for me. The AI character was interesting but it felt… Off.

So I pivoted, perhaps there was a betrayal of this former lover? And instead of making the AI implant someone he could see, maybe I would make him someone who is actually there. YES. Ezra, was visiting him in visions from the grave. But, Lucian had no fucking clue who he was. Because his memory had been wiped clean! This, felt like something.

From there, the book became more. I chose to keep the first few chapters because I felt like it was the calm before the storm. So, if you hate them, that’s fine. They are necessary for the rest of the story to hit.

Every name has meaning. Each pulse lulls the reader and character together, through the prose.

I am inspired mainly by the many TV shows that I adore. Not in particular order: Sense8, Supernatural, OA, Halo… Just to name a few. And I have recently been diving into Dostoevsky, White Nights - is everything. That ache, the longing… How human. And without question too, I wanted to explore that in my work, sitting with emotion. Questioning the space you take up in the world, why am I here. And how did this become?

Currently listening to Beauty in You - Psylosia.

Want to know more? Stay tuned!